i just realised after 18 years.
that my eyes and hair are naturally brown,
really dark brown which looks black.
hmm. i must be sleeping for 18 years

something tells me that tonight, i'm going to be handsome.
something tells me that tonight, i'm going to have fun.
something tells me that tonight, i'm going to collect millions of angbaos.
something tells me that tonight, i'm going to be drunk.
something tells me that... DIAN WHERE ARE YOU?

Theres' just something about today that is wonderful.
I'm not sure if its the accomplishment feeling of after submission,
or the satisfaction of completing a decent sculpture and assignment.
Maybe the wins of playing a good game,
or good cake and smiles for the birthday girl.
Could it be knowing the next two days you're in great company,
or just knowing that the team is always like a family.
Theres just something about today that is wonderful

I just realised i had th whole of ETF's latest album, here i was searching for "something" "ashley" all these while.

Okay, for the good news. The well deserved trip that i missed 2 years back cause i wanted to be there for someone, but this time, i'm not missing it. Yeah, Osaka with crystal and maybe ambrose. A much needed vacation and getaway.

Right, back to reality, still have to go through P1 first. Atleast theres little things to look forward to. Like extreme tomorrow with the team.

PS. Thanks girl, you're such a dear. Definitely better than getting the whole shell to sing for me.

ALWAYS ALLWAYS

Is it possible to place it to words how i feel?
How could anyone possibly understand.
I'm not expecting anyone to anyway.
Everyones just in their own mood.
So if this situation has a slightest impact, then im grateful.
Cause he is leaving, the man of the house.
For godknows how long he'll be gone,
possibly 3 lonely years,
never thought i'd say it,
i'm gonnar miss you.
For all the times you scolded me and i don't understand why till date.
Your random hyped up moments which seemed retarded, yeah i got it from you.
Your nature of the head, whereby i couldn't stand your guts.
Your call for embarrassments, even in public.
How you'd irritate parttime salesmans at IT shows with intelligent questions.
Your addiction to peanuts. Garlic ones in perticular.
Your beer belly.
You thinking all my female friends are my girlfriends. Now i still go S#RA%O^GAF&PHVl
You always see the worst in me, but the good thing always pushing me better.
No matter what things i've said or pointing the finger behind your back...
You're blood,
Someone that will always be in my life
irreplacable
hey dad,

i could really use a new wallet, that gucci one with the coin compartment would be nice.

I've got so much to say, like about the family and all. Japan trip etc.

but... Im too tired.

I shall do that tomorrow.

For now, i just want to say, im feeling awesome. Plus i'm smiling. Which is retarded.
Yet amusing. I had a nice night. It was lovely. Sweets and cats, you made a an impossible smile, i know i had a smile.

Alright damn bummmed out after skating. nights. promise id update tomorrow.

She said "don't,
don't let it go to your head
Boys like you are a dime a dozen"
She said "you're a touch overrated,
you're a lush and I hate it
but these grass stains on my knees they won't mean a thing"

And all I
Need to know
Is that I'm somethin you'll be missin

Maybe I should hate you for this
Never really did ever quite get that far
I'll do what I got to, the truth
is you could slit my throat
And with my one last gasping breath
I'd apologize for bleedin on your shirt

Cause I'm a wishful thinker with the worst intentions
This'll be last chance you get to drop my name

Youre So Last Summer - Taking Back Sunday

Im living on my 90%-10% rule. I hope it works.
I feel so alive again.

Okay, i cant just put on a facade anymore. The past few posts was just a lie and im going to drown myself now. Suddenly theres nothing wrong with lying. Atleast i had a genuine smile for 5 seconds today. My stupidity moment while someone tried to murder my bed frame jumping on it.

The best 5 seconds in a long time

Justine told me to be who i am and just take some time alone.
I have not even met Justine before and yet what she said seems true.
She doesn't even know my situation but knows what to say.
Which means what she said is general.
So if general categorised sayings are correct.
Then it must be from a FORTUNE COOKIE!

Going to hunt for one today

Mum comes knocking loudly on every door this first day of CNY. As usual the 3 kids here never wake up early. Another nightmare yet again, when is it ever gonnar stop? Its not like reality isnt torcherous enough. Just need to get through another day smiling, how difficult can that be?

Ah wow, another morning pain. I hate it when my bed has so much space now for some reason. Dang, about time to go throw some oranges. Happy Lunar New Year

The family was at the dining table, along with Carmen and uncle John. Usual steamboat whole CNY thing going on. Picture the situation whereby i was digging through the pot for beef i was cooking. While my brother was chewing on something.

Myself: HUH! I lost my beef.
Brother: i found some beef.

The family hasnt change. Im pretty glad for it.

Another hectic time of the year for the MAHs. As usual, waking up to a morning of quarrels. Its nice somehow, that theres communication again. Dad's return home today after a week from Arab made me excited, but being a MAH, it means to just keep to yourself.

Being Chinese means celebrating the Chinese New Year. Being a New Year, there should be a new start. So why do i keep thinking about the things ive been missing out? Maybe its just another sit in on a sunday afternoon reminiscing about the past kinda mood. I really need to get it out of my system, the only way i know possible, here. Society has its ways of not letting me do so. One wrong word and the news spreads like wildfire and suddenly im back at square one, misunderstood again. I'm asking for certain people that are always prying, just cause its a holiday, to cut me some slack.

So its to a bothering me
-Assignment 1 and 2 of Mat&P along with groupmates that don't get along including me, which im sorry myself.
-HCDes and P1, two majors of year 1
-My extreme shortage of cash
-Whatever thats left of our team ACME
-Coaching course wrongings. blars blars blars
-This one is quite serious, my failing memory. Its scaring the shit outta me cause i don't remember anything unless i specifically told myself to. So i woke up this morning not knowing what happened yesterday. Dare i not, to even tell my mum.
-I've been having nightmares every night, its unusual cause its been a week and after i wake up, i don't remember what it was, but somehow i know when im dreaming, its related to every other dream.
-Theres a Mars bar on my laptop table, its feeling damn lonely.

Going through the upmost horrible days, no matter the matter, when we come to a day ending, you'll still be there. Its damn hard cause you've given me everything but i never seemed able to understand you like you do me. Now that its all lost, but for whatevers worth, the pretty damn awesome days, i missed you.

goodbye wonderwall

Yes la Lisian, i'm a....


LOSER

I know this page was suppose to be something new. Like nothing of any emotional sort.
Just that now, i need someone i could talk to. Somehow blogspot is my only choice.

Okay second thoughts here, lost my moment.

My, that was gay.


EDIT

damn GAO WEI

EDIT 2

Okay just cause i do not want to create a new post. So i shall continue on this.
I've been trying to get down with work. So unless work equals to stoning and constanly eating eggs, yeah i've been doing? Okay, sarcasm doesn't translate on the web.

Its just random thoughts i have of late, more of now but im incoherent, so i shall be spared. Since i'm being all morning ranting sensitivish, i might as well go all out. Firstly, i can't be thankful enough for the new people i met recently and have always been wanting to be there for me. Sorry i never mentioned what my problem always was and keep you people always guessing. Thats only cause i don't want for yall to know, then the paranoid me would expect any of you to be there 24/7 whenever it affects me again, and finally go bonkers if no one does. Been there, done that, lost all.

Alright, back on topic. Its just in general. You know how people get over someone and they said something like it was a "stupid mistake", or "i was stupid then", or even "i was young and don't know". I'd admit i've ever mentioned that before. Now, i'm taking back whatever i've said. Cause imagine you're really into this someone right now. You only get yourself in that situation cause you want yourself to. So to say something like you made "a mistake" or you were "stupid" in the future means you regretted. Its selfish how we shoved away our past as "a mistake" when really its more of "a memory". Cause we as humans only remember the bad times.

Someone once said, unless you're 18, you'll still not think maturely. So to that, i'm not. That's why i'm working on it.

Maybe its inappropriate to name names but whenever any of you read this, i hope you remember those times aswell, cause i do treasure them.

Remember that time we went to Langkawi to race? The 8 hour bus ride back together was something special. Where we were thirteen and young but there was something real about it. Cuttlefish was my favorite cause i always tie them together to make something and ate the entire long tied together peice. It always made you laugh. The stops on the way back to singapore, we'd come down together and watch the million stars up in the sky. It always meant something to you, those stars. I never understood them, its normal, just stars. Almost typical for girls to like them. Now i understand, even if it took me 6 years to, it was watching them with me. Maybe when we meet now, its awkward, but back then, you really meant something to me. Thank you for being part of my life.

Okay this post is getting confusing cause im not mentioning any names. maybe a little queer cause im suddenly talking about the past and whoever reads this might go "what a loser, get a life and move on". Its really nothing like that. So i shall proceed.

Women who needed security. Okay, bad inside joke. That aside, no matter how short a time we've been together. That one year knowing you had been crazy? Cause it was hard for people to accept but i feel like you're more real when you're alone with me. Not trying to be deemed "cool and partying" or just those girls who don't care what others think. Admit it, we were something, trying to get on each other nerves playing relationship games. Even after the breakup. One thing i always had in my head was those times where we were walking in the rain. Walking from tamp to my home and getting lost. Another time in the rain again after training, this time walking you home instead. Sitting at your playground beside the pool, talking and looking up in the night sky. Would say the same thank you for etc etc.... but you already know.

Im damn tired. its almost 3am.

To you i saw today, sincerely, it was a pleasant surprise.
I do not need to mention how crazy it was. You already know. The good times, though i didn't say out, you already know too. You probablt understand me and that im too tired to type sommore. Remember? I could write a book if i could pen my thoughts down?

Okay, i need sleep bad. Lousy ending to a post i know.
nights.

Firstly, blogspot doesnt have a cut feature like LiveJournal does right? If anyone knows, how to do it for blogspot, help me out here okay?

Secondly, went with dinah, zhan and yuzil to bedok today t just try out. Officially my first time on blades. Moreover, dinah is rather good for a girl who just started.
Alright, coolout.

Lan shop saturdays. I had the sweetest night ever. Hope you smile when you see this, stop striking that stupid pose cause i love it so much. Argh, pardon my blunder. Your scent still lingers. Licking lips. Oh my, what awesome chips.

Words out, stop people from making out.
Always doing at my playground, all year round.
Big frowns when i hear weird sounds.
Can't sleep when they're having heat.
Not done soon? Just get a room.
I'd lend you mine, if you both are fine.
Only cost eighteen since you both are scene.
Making a dream not a scheme.

Create animated gif

Lim Jian gave a pep talk today;

which whereby i want to typed down here but blogspot can't lock post.
Hence, Thus, Therefore... I'd post on my livejournal.

like as in why pp wld think you offend them
im jared
hahaha
it's also nth personal to you i guess.. firstly.. most of them dont get your humour and they dont even know when you're joking.. and even if they know you're joking.. they dont think it's funny.. they think it's mean
but that's their problem
its the ACS vibe right?
what i think can be your problem at times is being slightly "bratty" in the sense that.. when you ask someone to do smth for you.. you tend to ask in a very demanding manner.. and sometimes you forget to say please or thank you..
let me just put it this why.. our classmates.. are just... well.. not so well versed in english.. and hence they can never truly appreciate our humour
BRAVO

The previous post was 3 years back?
Horrible period but guess the air is clear.
Moving back to blogspot, credits to amanda.
alright thats too much for an intro post.