We've been here before a few times
and i'm quite aware we're dying
Heres one for memories sake
"I STILL FUCKING LOVE YOU"

Okay just woke up from a slumber.
Daryl's cheesecake is handsdown a winner.
Tonight is erjie's place. Poker f nighttttttt.

Rock on bottom dryyy whee!
Not many could say the last line and mean it

Everynight i wished we could fuck the world and do stupid things like hanging at the tracks. Come up with wild stories of hills that has a pot of gold at the end. Gain badluck together whenever we cross a bridge, or just have a picnic at a restricted building.

What i said before and feared really happened didnt it? How if we dont ever speak, it'll end up with your friends telling you things and you dont believe at first, and after constantly hearing, you'll start to agree, same goes for me, and all of a sudden, the things we used to tell each other in the past which we hold on to just fade into a distant memory.

Our 3 year plan, we're half way there.
It saddens everytime i think about it. I just feel like wrapping myself in a sleeping bag and overdose on pills to an extent that im still slightly sober, at the edge of a building along with (eg. chocolates sweets bouncing balls milktea)all the things i want to be remembered by, coincidentally also reminds me of you. BUT GOD, theres just no one to do the same with me and drag me down after i kicked her bag.

Whoever would tell me in detailed explanation about my facial expressions like i would hers. We still have not given a code name for FP. I mean, the house opposite busstop with our name in paint, could really actually be burnt!

Promised id give you back your silver vanguard sheet that you lost from artfriend, which happens to be an excuse for going out with me. HAHHAHAHAHA. We're missing out on all the food! OMG!!! Goodness, im eating beefjerky now. We're the first that probably watch each other sleep, from the otherside of singapore!

Looking up at the dropping sky, my ceiling, shadows that tells me if its windy outside, i ponder, away from the world under a glow in the dark sheet. "Lets watch click on DVD first". I crave hainese chicken rice with the funny uncle opp novena. Jurong point is calling.

The lines in what youre feeling becomes clear, cause thats about what i feel too, maybe worst. Hope you know why im at a standstill, and i should be the one who says before its too late, before i really go.

Im not sure if you remembered this question a long time ago, what would you want to be if you could be any animal.

Heard of trigger memories? You're about all the time.

You assumed like i did when you see what you saw,
but i guess that wouldnt matter anymore.
I could safely say the same about everyother night,
especially those of suppers with no reply.

"Let me introduce you guys to the 1k"

Not a day goes by i didnt wish...

Finally gotten my laptop fixed thanks to JY. Plus she helped made my com better. Just as when ive gotten my laptop back, the net at home aint working. So before i head home, id just update.

Damn, ManU lost. Im still quite stunned about that.

Sidetrack, im broke after getting my M.Portage bag.

So many things happened over the past few days.
Time to head home. Ciao

Everybody has been asking me, where have i been or where did i go?
Jared, where are you?

I'm at a freaking standstill. Too late to backtrack now, but im at a cliff.

My small bed actually feels empty everynight without you by my side.
Never touch your toothbrush and everything you own is still in place.
This is so weird.

Anyway, dad is leaving tmr. Really sucks.

Everything is not going right.

I need someone here tonight.

): real sorry dearest.
Told you if you ever need me for any reason, REALLY any reason. Just give me a call and id cab down whatever time it is.
Miss you too. Hope allswell. Im still screwing up but hey, id be fine.
See you soon LOVE.

and i could only say my choice was the result of your choice.

then maybe you're right, just not meant to be.

take care.

Why do evil men get away with it
Can't you see that I'm in a world of shit
Turn your back on hope and go back inside
Stop my bleeding heart and let the engine die

i wrote something on our journal-our secret i hope you never tell.

Anyway, finally got my allowance and my wallet. BIG YESSA!

Just got home from Angels and Demons. Went to check the only place i know selling freitag. 215 bucks, really cant afford at the moment. Need a job badly someone please. Argh, too bad i couldnt work the event job cause of class.

wait wait sidetrack.... this is quite funny...

banghur. says:
hahaha
goodluck sia wtf
she nv ans leh
still ringing
druu druuu
druuu druuu
druuu druuu

HAHAHAHAHAA.

okay cont, having automata this module. rather fun.
shit im too tired. one game then bed.

OMG, there actually is an apple shampoo. I know everyone is thinking, its not much a big deal, but how can you not see the greatness in that?!?!?! I mean, scrub a little and not only would your hair be clean, it'll smell like an APPLE! This is probably the best creation in the world. Who needs anything else as long as you have a bottle of apple shampoo? Pure genius. I would definitely vote apple shampoo for president.

Please take me by the hand
It's so cold out tonight
I'll put blankets on the bed
I won't turn out the light
Just don't forget to think about me
And I won't forget you
I'll write you once a week she said

Why does it feel the same
To fall in love or break it off
And if young love is just a game
Then I must have missed the kick off
Don't depend on me to ever follow through on anything
But I'd go through hell for you and

I'll think about the times
She kissed me after class
And she put up with my friends
I acted like an ass
I'd ditch my lecture to watch the girls play soccer
Is my picture still hanging in her locker?

I haven't been this scared in a long time
And I'm so unprepared so here's your valentine
Bouquet of clumsy words, a simple melody
This world's an ugly place, but you're so beautiful to me

"i would give you a hug, but i was carrying a laptop and all"

"you see this skeleton sweet, actually you flip it over and theres a toy... just kidding"

"pun intended"

"only with you, you always make me walk"

"look, now you're on top of the world"

"i miss your lips"

"planjapanideakorea"

"actually we're quite perfectly matched"

"want to come and act cool all only"

*hand signals*

"we make a secret code for that word. FP next time k?"

"lumps"

"zee most awesome"

"obviously obvious"

"we'll be miles apart, id keep you deep inside, you're always in my heart *hand sign*"

faith fell short this time

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KAIXIN.

Thanks for the cake today, sorry i wasn't so enthusiastic.
If i was feeling better, i would have scream the birthday song for you.

Erm, im suppose to place a picture someone took of us playing guitar freaks about a year ago. Can't find it though. So anyway, thanks for listening to my epic failing life story back then when we were sitting at the koi pond also about a year ago. See i remembered, and i think i owe you lunch for that ever since then. Anyway, happy 'however old you are now' again.

PS. awesome cake

In the mids of calamity, something great has occured.
Dad will be back for two days.

on an unrelated matter.
Theres a guy i got to know on new years. He's a nice guy, and they look lovely together. Actually, could i use the word envy? So i just came across it sometime recently, and read about a tragic story about his love. I saw that guy recently and he doesnt seem that cheerful anymore. I used to be like him, or cheerful and such. Right now i feel like a complete twat and every swear word you could rip off southpark. So some question why would i type in such a manner. Only cause i had an epiphany, realising ive forgotten who i really was. I've lost my identity and i only have myself to blame. Thinking back to the AC days up until now. I must have really became fucked up.

So my great big public service announcement for the millionth amount of time, i'm sorry. So now, i'm just going to back off and allow what should have stayed, happen again. Maybe its karma in many levels that i could never ever...

Dude, don't get me wrong, i never meant to, and it wasnt personal, i truely felt, and yes im a jerk to ever screw things up for you. The insults were a reaction, it wasnt my real opinion. You have every right to hate me and i have non to rebut. Im not asking for forgiveness or anything, im just saying i will not interfere. I wish you two the best (:

and i almost fogot
hope daryl didnt die in the hospital... ohwell, i'm so hungry now, gonnar cook my favorite meegoreng and share it with myself.

i just spoke to sr. i guess what he says about the both wanner act more happening that leads to complications.

ive thought about it...

and since it was so real, atleast to me, and i know you do feel the same.

id give it another shot. im not about to give up the (world) if you know what i mean.

cause then id have noone to watch 'Whos Line' in my car with me anymore.

lets see, how do i put this?
hmm... maybe... nope
maybe.... nah
or maybe... still nope



okay i got it....


I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU I STILL LOVE YOU

argh, ive posted non stop.
cause i stayed at home all day by my empty bed, under an oversized blanket for two, wishfully hoping, for my doorbell to ring.

oh, but now i feel stupid again

im sorry this is tooooo tempting.

"huh, the only four wheels i want my guy to be on is a car."

LOL $dfgahjfgaj35ytrgfw^


"he looks like a ______boy meh?"
"yup, he looks like his face kena _____ on."

over my head, with something i said, completely MISREAD, im better off dead.

its not going to be ugly, we never were.
and your beauty stays the same even if i try to lie to myself.
maybe i dont know your situation, sorry i never tried to understand.
but you know nothing of my current aswell, so maybe its just a case of bad time.
it always has, been about time.
then blame me for i never plan and my watch dont tell.

but when i go to sleep alone, i dont think of the wrongs. all i could picture, was what you already knew.

sure friends do make a smile, but it'll only last for awhile
this hole could only be filled by you

our similarities and how our crazy mind thinks, i guess we just assume too much, oh i hate to dream, cause nightmares come and ive noone to tell.

Last straw, i never knew what that meant. I guess i do now. Its funny how nobody really takes anything seriously when you don't add a fuck into it. So now, im saying.... FUCK this, all of it, all that is related and finally FUCK off. Lei gong mat ye ngo dou mm zoi xiong seng lei lo. Fuck limitless possibilities, cause th sky dont last long when its all grey and all th light falls and fade, beauty fades. What are we they ask, its like a game of charade. Its all fun and lovely till the time runs out.

This is the part when it gets better, a lil less insane. The part where you remember the word disgust. Remember how id wanner make you feel how i felt when you screw up. It changes after today. Today id just be happy for you, and tomorrow id already forget.

Finally the end of the block. Caid1 is disgusting.
botak jones is freaking awesome. I manage to conquer the egg burger. HAHAHAHAHA.
Took away the poatato salad to germ's place for amityville and shutter.

Oh, finally went to tiong bahru for chee chong chok. like finally.

seen a poker face?

okay, once i get my allowance, im gonnar get this from heeren. its about time i changed my wallet.

okay, timbuk2? or freitag???

veronica, lei sek gong gong dong wa meh? lei gor 'post' hai bei lei ge. lei zi dou bin dou hor yi mai 'freitag' ga shui bao mo? ngo dei yao zhoi hoi sek 'cheesecake' hai 'cheesecake factory' hou mo? ngo oie sek ngo gor 'oreo cheesecake'. dim gai lei mo hai shui goon ge? ngo mo dak tai dou lei. hai hok tai dou lei yat chi hai 'lab' lei bin.

hahaha, thats all i can think of

im gonnar go sleep, and wake up from this dream.

btw, bangkok is just 2 hours away, lets leave th world behind

"Everytime you're nervous, you speak hell fast.
You never wanted the tension but i just get lost in your eyes.
Then you'll ask, what am i looking at.
'Nothing'-
not conviced, you still go on speaking."

Am I strung out, crazy, or not allowed
To be the one who gets stupid over you
Lazy, laid back, maybe you're just on crack
Why am I the one who gets fucked up and confused?

She doesn't care about those times we never shared at all

If I were the last of the few who always ask
Would you still be the same person that I knew
And if it's for me, another boring story
I swear I'll act enthused

lei zi dou, ngo ye ye dou hou xiong lei.
ngo ga pen yao dou zi dou ngo mm tak mo zhor lei.
dan hai, ngo meng bai lei dui ngo mo sum
ngo dui oie, ye ye zoi siu.
lei hai ngo sum zhong, meng zhong, zui oie ga yan.
ngo mm zi dou dim zhoi tong lei yat cai,
yeng wai lei por wai ngo ga sum.

We had saycheese today, saycheese was great.
A guy shouldnt post about this kinda thing.
But saycheese was really good.

We had frolick today, frolick was good.
Think i didnt realised that kinda thing.
But frolick was really great.

oh and... this family is currently breaking apart.

first class with carviar and fresh juice.
trade it for budget seats if only with you.

This one liner thing could really actually work out.

Theres a hesitation, but the hesitation was good.

who knows, one day i might come up to you and kiss you infront of everybody.
and your name shall be sarah beckinson

i love fresh fruits

im going to chinese chess you to death

this is currently going no where.

Eil<3n has the softest hair

Germsie is reading this-
i greater than three your idiotic blur face. agu agu.

okay wtf is going on

btw, since this is not a locked post and i dont know how t do that cause im not on livejournal, i cant say or post anything juicy with results that would make me look ugly. not that im not. cause i have uneven sized eyes with conjoined brows, missing front tooth and sandpaper face that has zits bigger than pinheads. yup, thats how i really look like.

oh, but i dont give a fuck. msn me for the link! HAHAHHAHAHA

Luke Banghur Germs and EileenKYLEfacebook, not forgetting myself are oovoo fanatics.
just look at germsie's face. i feel like squishing her cheeks. awwww
okay, left4dead till 5am and NR7 home again.

I think of awhile ago
We might have had it all
I was so stupid then
You needed time to grow

But now just as things change
As well my feelings do
In time things rearrange
I am so sick of chasing you

It's not a change of pace
This time I'll get it right
It's not a change of taste
I was the one there last night

You have your other friends
They were there when you cried
Didn't mean to hurt you then
Best friends just won't leave your side

But what do I get 'cause I just seem to lose
You make me regret those times I spent with you
And playing those games as I wait for your call
And now I give up, so goodbye and so long

When I needed you most
When I needed a friend
You let me down now
Like I let you down then

Argh, have not gone home for two days. Maybe cause my parents are not in singapore. OMG, th past three weeks was crazy. Last night, SR almost murdered everyone. Anyway, just woke up, going t shower then meet my sat night sheesha/L4D/Tauhuey kakis.

ps. th previous post pic was fake
pps. th way he held you :(

Looking back at my livejournal i found a post which said;

CLICK TO VIEW LARGER GERMSIE!!!!

oh, i bought a pair of sissors from LP and cut my own hair today.

while washing their hair down th drain after they showered in my room, it will always remind me of those times i had to wash yours, and how it'll smell like dove.

wha.. can die

ok they're all aslp.

hmm

5am, germs and banghur sleeping on my bed.

eileen and i still dotaing.

k, think we should sleep. wan an.

update about fucked up incident tmr. im never going back OCH, for a week.

"How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each prayer accepted, and each wish resigned."

on the cab to school, the driver constantly talk about one night stands, gays, clubbing, gay blow jobs, paid female blowjobs, sex parties, sex, etc.

i would love to elaborate but not in the current state im in...

I find myself at 5am sitting alone at the desk not giving a shit about my work. That idiot already sleeping in bed. Thats how it is, it is dead. Time is running out, and everyday i find myself wanting to dissappear more. With more than i know each day. Can people stop giving me shit every now and then? SO MANY FUCKING THINGS going on at the same time its too demanding. Yes i love to escape everyday with drinks and smoke and crazy friends. Nonetheless those last only for awhile. The permanant cure wouldnt show and its getting pretty hard, so FOR FUCK SAKES stop people. Just spare me your petty presumptions that im partying and ignorant, im merely just human and using my temp solution. You insulted me really bad but im still smiling playing the violin behind you.

th thought of loserness and taste places a smile on my face. makes me makes me makes me feel somewhere up there. cause youre my dirty little secret and no one will ever know. how much you tell they'll never really know. ive got scrape marks on my elbows and knees from the drag and im still smiling after the rainbow cause we had a lifetime of happiness and love all packed into you and me. oh when you stop believing in movie and fairytale endings you stop believing in us, and thats about how much we're missing out. im like an addict when it comes to pain, that must be th only reason cause i cant figure out why i let you crush me over again. love doesnt exist when three simple words dont mean anything.

goddamit, i just reached home. its already 6.15am, i need to leave arnd 8.

haji surprisingly got wireless

damn lucky to have company on the last NR7 homie.

lai steady lai.

tau huey ftw.

okay damn tired. bathe and go out again er yi.

i can't decide what to eat for dinner later.
sex on fire

it still belongs to you

I know what i must do, and as usual, anything for your happiness.

th party last night, was awfully crazy, i wished we taped it.

HAHAHHAA, just woke up, and im stumped.
Germs, Banghur and i decided to quit together.
that was so random.

okay, fucking owning yesterday/this morning.